Last Wednesday I had an appointment with the Neurologist.
Now let me back up just a minute….. We had been trying to see this doctor since October of last year! Back and forth with rescheduling because of weather etc.
(At first I must say that I was pretty nervous for the appointment. Yet as time went on and we prepped for the appointment, I knew in the back of my mind what the doctor was going to say. )
So the day finally arrived, we made sure that on this rainy day, that we would be there early as possible to assure there was not even a chance that we would miss our appointment.
We met with the Doctor and asked him a few questions. Such as what other health issues (besides a stroke) should I be aware of? What is the likely hood that I have another stroke? What can I expect for my recovery in the months ahead? Am I on target?
His answer to all of these were what I expected…
“Each person is unique. I simply don’t know what to tell you to expect.”
It was disappointing to wait such a long time for that appointment just to hear those words (even though I had predicted he would say that). However, In my heart I had determined that no matter what the outcome. Good or bad. Or unknown. I was going to trust and lay my outcome in the hands of Jesus.
“Worry is like a rocking chair-it keeps you moving but doesn’t get you anywhere.”
To close the doctor issued a blood test to see if my cholesterol is high or changed any, (My grandfather had high cholesterol and with God’s help he lowered it. If God can do it with him so can he with me!)
He also wants to do a sleep test and make sure my breathing is ok and to check for sleep apnea.
(Sarcastic Tone) That means I get to sleep over and get all wired up 🙂 Which means a long night and crazy selfies 🙂 O joy!
Going into the future my trust is in God alone!!
I apologize that I haven’t written in months. Time just goes so fast and I’ve really been trying to work hard on my rehab. I dunno I guess just putting my head to the ground and working as hard as I can and trying to live a normal life again.
That said I figured the best way to let you know what I have been up to is through pictures. 🙂 Enjoy!
Side Note: All the rehab pictures took place months before my trip to Oregon 😉 We went to Oregon and watched my younger brother get married. I got to see many of my friends and was reunited with them 🙂 )
The wedding venue. What a view!
My niece as a Flower Girl waiting in my chair 🙂
Me in a tuxedo?!!
this contraption they made for my arm?
Perfecting my walking skills
Was it really January when I last did a entry? Where did February go? The beginning of this year has just gone by like a blur. I can’t believe that in 19 days I will have reached my 1yr. anniversary of my stroke.
In less then 13 days I begin what will be the beginning of several doctors appointments. I’m anxious to see what they have to say. What does my future look like? All in all, I have to remind myself that God writes the final doctor’s note on my life.
As most of you know March means March madness. I’ll admit I haven’t been super interested in basketball this year. In fact I was even contemplating not watching the tournament this year. Mean after all it was around that time last year that I had had the ugly episode of my stroke. I’d rather not be reminded of that. Even the tournament that comes along with those flashbacks.
I was thinking about this and felt God was telling me “You know, this is really silly. Your letting fear get the best of you” Then I remembered my favorite quote by buddy Bob Goff always uses.. “Fear is a punk”
For one thing there is no arguing with God. I’m letting fear rob me of living my life. Second Bob is totally spot on. Fear is a punk! It only want to rob me from my joy and have me creeping around like a scared cat.
I choose to kick fear to the door, and embrace whatever comes my way. Knowing and trusting that I have a God who died for me with my best interest in mind.
What’s keeping you from greatness?
Tuesday last week I suddenly happened to wake up around 3:30 in the morning. Immediately I was aware of the fact that my left arm was tingling and lying in a position where it had fallen asleep. Psychologically, this worried me and played with my mind, I couldn’t help but think “Here we go again”. So I lied there in bed, just praying and trying to move my arm around til I was calm enough to fall back to sleep.
The next day (Wednesday) I felt fine for the most part but was very aware of my body (was to familiar for me!). I particularly noticed that my left wrist was tingling and felt as if every time I sat down It would fall asleep on me.
My sister’s family had been over and the house was very busy with little ones running about. That morning mom was busy helping with the kids , but they stopped by my room to say good morning and help me with a few things. I lightly mentioned my symptoms but they went in one ear and out the other. I figured it really was nothing anyway and ignored it.
Throughout the day though, my symptoms would come and go. This had me puzzled but I remained silent still, not wanting to raise a false alarm.
Later that evening after the kids had gone to sleep I again mentioned it. Of course not meaning or wanting anyone to worry. Long story short, we prepared as if to go and stay at the hospital. I called a friend to pray with me. Mom called the emergency room to see if it was worth worrying over. During her call she was ended up getting transferred over to a doctor by phone. She handed the phone over and he ran my through a series of questions to see what might be going on. He determined I was not having a new stroke, and by the way I had described things thought it sounded like it was from over using my left arm. That I may even have pinched a nerve or something by the sound of it.
Glory to God that it was nothing!
I learned a valuable lesson though. I need to be better at raising attention and alerting others when things are off with my body. Being a selfless person this is hard for me to learn but I have to tell myself that it’s ok (if not important!) to bring this kind of attention to myself. It’s not being selfish!
I had applied for Disability Assistance back in October. I was told it would be at least til February til they notified to tell me whether I was approved or not. My expectations were expecting them to deny me and that I would have to through the lengthy process of appealing their denial etc.
Yesterday was January 20th. To my surprise I received a letter from Social Security telling me I was approved for financial aid. I was honestly floored at this news! I couldn’t stop giving thanks to God and tried to call my friends to share the good news. First try!
God is so good!
I was hoping to say something of worth in reflecting on the past year. However, the best I can say is simply wrapped in this family movie made by my one and only brother Stephen.
Job well done! Enjoy!
In the end, it has been a rough year with many dives and turns. All in all I am most thankful just to be here. God is good!
What will 2016 bring?
It would seem a post of this title might have been better suited for last week when it was Thanksgiving. But we all know you were busy with family and eating all those delicious pies 😉 Besides why should one day stand alone as a tribute to be thankful. Everyday is reason to give thanks. Yes, that seems cliche’ and nothing you haven’t heard. For meit has new meaning though. I should have been dead ages ago… but here I am by God’s grace….
The day after Thanksgiving the city in which I live was darkened by yet another shooting. I have a friend who happened to be only blocks away from the activity….
Just yesterday in San Bernardino, California another mass shooting took place. Painting strokes of darkness across our country yet again….
Many questions will be asked, fingers pointed, opinions will flare etc….
I can’t feel sensation in my right side very well, I have frustrating days where my balance goes wacky, I’m a pretty broken and lonely guy being so far from a state with people I love. I could go on and on…. The thing I keep coming back to is this.. I am alive! I’m still here and that’s what I’m so thankful for.
No matter what you believe or the media says my God…The God who created all the universe…. Who loved us so much that He would send His son to die a terrible death for you and me (even though we ridiculously mess up time and time again!)….Rose again!…..Yes that God!…He is still the same forever and so awesomely good!